The new manager is much, much more mellow than our current manager and the project means we would have a set schedule and responsibilities (our current responsibilities seem to come and go based on our current manager's moods) so there would be less stress for everybody all around... well... aside from the stress of trying to get this project finished by it's due date.
I was able to write some more this week;
I started work on the next chapter of Descendants even though this current chapter isn't done yet (the last scene simply says *insert awkward proposal scene here when finished*). It's amazing how I wouldn't have let that slide in the past - I would have agonized over that scene until it drove me mad!
The idea I had for The Undying Ones last week wasn't working at all, but I came up with something different that may be even better. I haven't visited Mattie's father in quite awhile, so it's time to let him shine again and maybe get his side of things. And in writing from his POV I've discovered that Mattie's father isn't just the toymaker - he's also related to someone very important. I love it when things like that reveal themselves!
In addition to all that I've also been been toying around with one of the adult stories I was going to publish under my other name. I had abandoned it after a friend read it and gave me some advice on it that was pretty upsetting. It really hurt my ego and made me think that I should just give up on writing romance. After several months of letting it lay around, I realized that my story was okay. Yes, it's a first draft and needs some polish, but it's a perfectly solid first draft. It was actually my friends advice that was totally wrong - she wanted me to change the story into something completely different, something that she came up with, if that makes any sense. So, now that I've come to that realization and have decided to ignore her advice (aside from the grammar and spelling errors she caught) the story is flowing a hell of a lot better.
And now for WIPpet wednesday!
WIPpet Wednesday is run by the lovely K L Schwengel. To participate just share a snippet from your work in progress that correlates to the date. For example, since today is 3/5/14 you could share 3 paragraphs from chapter 5, or 5 sentences from chapter 14, or you can add the date together and share 22 sentences or paragraphs or words from whatever. The more creative the WIPpet math, the better!
My apologies for those who couldn't read the WIPpet last week. When I just copy and paste the snippet over from my document, the formatting gets all wonky, so I tried pasting it into notepad first to remove the formatting, then pasting it into the blog. After that I made the font a little smaller to differentiate between the blog and the snippet. Lesson learned! I will never do that again!
Today I'll be sharing 29 sentences (3X5=15+14=29) from chapter 4 of The Descendants. Again it's mostly dialogue; Vivian finally found her boyfriend, but before she could talk to him, he proposed. She said no and now she's having to deal with the aftermath of that.
“I spent most of my savings on that ring!”To read more ROW 80 updates - go here
“I’m sorry.” Vivian murmured, knowing that her apology was not nearly enough. She watched Josh pace the length of the kitchen they had retreated to after he had proposed and she turned him down.
“I thought you wanted to get married!”
“Maybe someday, but just not now. We’re way too young -”
“Too young!” He cut her off with a bitter laugh that echoed sharply throughout the space. “You’re twenty three, I’m twenty six. We both have good jobs. My parents were only twenty when they got married and they had nothing and they made it!”
“No they didn’t; they’re divorced...” She fell silent as he turned and glared at her, his brown eyes smoldering under the track lighting overhead.
“I can’t believe this. We talked about about getting married and getting out of here so many times...” He ran a hand through his blonde hair, making it even spikier and messier than usual.
Vivian sighed, “Actually you were the one doing most of the talking -”
“Why the sudden change? It’s not because of him is it?” He cut her off again, spitting out the word ‘him’ like it was venom.
“Him?”
“Don’t play dumb. You know who I’m talking about.”
“No, no I obviously don’t.”
“That asshole that hangs around the garage.”
“That doesn’t really help me.”
“Matthew.” Josh snapped his fingers as he finally came up with the name. “That guy has had his eye on you for years.”
Vivian snorted. “Now you’re being ridiculous.”
“Well, Lara said you two were being all cozy in the upstairs bathroom a few minutes ago.”
“He was calming me down.”
“Sure he was.”
“Bree sent him to keep an eye on me - you know how protective she can be.”
“That woman has never liked me.” He reached the other side of the kitchen again and turned back around. “Did she talk you out of it?”
“Nobody talked me out of anything!” Vivian growled, finally returning his glare. Why couldn’t he understand that she had never wanted this? “I’m sorry I hurt you, but I don’t want to get married! If you had paid attention, you would have figured that out ages ago and this would have never happened!”
“Well, maybe if you hadn’t led me on -”
Now it was Vivian’s turn to cut him off. “I never led you on! I still love you and want to be with you I just don’t want to get...”
“Married.” Josh finished for her. “Yeah, I get that now.” He leaned against the countertop and stared at the tiled floor underneath their feet, a deep scowl marring his otherwise handsome face.
An uneasy silence fell over the kitchen, broken only by the sounds of the party beyond. The DJ had finally turned the music down, but the noise and the stress of the evening had already done it’s damage - a headache was building behind Vivian’s temples, throbbing in time with her heartbeat. She grit her teeth against the pain, promising herself that as soon as this was over, she would go home and lock herself in her room.
“You know, I bought a ticket to go to England too. Guess that’s not gonna happen now.” He spoke first, grabbing a nearby towel and wringing it in his fists. “Good thing I bought insurance so I can at least get some of my money back.”
“I’m sorry.” Vivian murmured again.
“Stop saying that!” He roared and threw the towel in her direction. Despite his vehemence, it didn’t go far, falling a few feet short of his target. “You’re not sorry. You don’t care. You never did.”
To read more WIPpet Wednesday posts - go here.
Wow, fantastic dialogue! Really tight and tense. I wouldn't want to be either of them right now...
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteLoved the tension. Well, no, I loved how you wrote the tension--that's very different. :)
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry about your friend giving bad advice. My biggest weakness is a deep fear that I'm just not good enough. "Advice" like that would send me right over the edge. I'm glad you were able to reach a point where you could ignore it.
Thank you!
DeleteHer advice actually did make me think the story was crap for awhile - which is why I gave up on it for so long. While I was able to realize the second time around that her advice just wasn't for me and would have made the story into something completely different, there was a lot of complaining to my husbands and eating chocolate that happened. If it wasn't for the characters demanding attention I might have given up on it again!
Sorry about the critique you got that didn't work. It's kind of like a scalpel isn't it - you can either do the work of a surgeon or a murderer! Good for you for being able to see past things and go on with your project! I liked this snippet and actually felt embarrassed/hurt on the boyfriend's behalf.
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteThis is why Vivian was trying to find him before he proposed, so they could talk about it, but unfortunately luck was not on her side.
Ouch - I'm feeling his pain there. Great scene - it is tight and full of emotion. Well done!
ReplyDeleteThank you!
DeleteGood for you for figuring out that your critiquing friend was in the wrong! It's so important to be able to get the feel of your own story instead of someone else's. Alas, some people like to tell you how to write their story instead of doing the hard work to write it themselves.
ReplyDeleteIntense scene here, and a little heartbreaking. I'm sure someone else will fill the gap, though...
Thank you!
DeletePerhaps some one will fill the gap eventually, but it will be awhile before that happens...
A lot of changes for you going on it seems... and for Vivian.
ReplyDeleteFrankly, even if he's hurt, Josh is handling this really badly. But it's also clear that the two of them needed to have a serious heart to heart talk well before this. That way, they'd have been more in touch with each other's feelings.
Yes, a lot of changes going on right now, but it's kinda nice (for me at least, it's not so nice for Vivian obviously)
DeleteJosh is handling it pretty badly, but he's hurt and embarrassed. Vivian has her own issues to figure out, but something else is afoot that may make things worse before they get better.
Hi, Christina,
ReplyDeleteSometimes one of the hardest parts of getting critiques is figuring out which pieces of advice don't work for your story. I have a tendency to err on the side of "the crit partner is right," but there have been a few times where I knew a piece of advice wouldn't work--and sometimes it takes me a while to figure that out!
Happy writing!
I love that he threw the towel and how ineffective that is. It sucks to be so wound up and want to make something happen and then...it falls short of the goal, just like the towel. A lot of tension in this scene.
ReplyDeleteThat's too bad about the bad critique. But it sounds like you came out of it okay, and it probably helped build a layer of thick skin. In this business that sure is a necessity.